Valentine’s at Willow Dunes: The High-Stakes Dinner Reservations War

It happened fast.

By early January, the best tables at The Gilded Fork were gone. The members who planned ahead secured their spots. The ones who didn’t? They scrambled.

By February 1st, even the less desirable tables—too close to the kitchen, too far from the romance—were booked. By February 7th, the waiting list was longer than the drink menu. By February 13th, desperation set in.

The Last-Minute Struggle

Members begged. Bartered. Pulled favors. Some called in connections they hadn’t spoken to in years. One even tried bribing Beatrice Fairchild. She responded with a single, disapproving stare.

A few took extreme measures. One member faked a food allergy emergency to demand a last-minute opening. Another tried convincing Lord Worthington that club bylaws required “emergency romance seating.”

None of it worked.

Plan B: The Alternatives (And the Failures)

With no Gilded Fork reservation, members got creative.

• Some rushed to The Velvet Taproom. The plan seemed solid until an unexpected live bagpipe performance drove them out early.
• A few set up a romantic picnic on the 18th green. It was perfect—until a rogue autonomous mower rolled in.
• Others settled for the practice range. One couple argued over who had the better swing. They left separately.

The Morning After

By February 15th, it was over. Some savored their elegant Gilded Fork meals. Others nursed Old Fashioned regrets. A few faced relationship damage beyond repair.

The lesson? If you don’t have a Valentine’s reservation by now… good luck next year.