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Now Hiring: Beverage Cart Attendants – The Most Exclusive Role on Wheels
February 19, 2025
The Most Exclusive Role on Wheels!
At Willow Dunes Country Club, we don’t just serve drinks on the course—we curate an experience. This summer, we are offering a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join our elite beverage cart team, serving only the most distinguished (and occasionally demanding) members as they navigate our pristine fairways.
Do You Have What It Takes?
We are looking for highly skilled individuals who:
- Can mix a perfect cocktail while delivering a look of polite indifference.
- Can maneuver a golf cart with the precision of a Formula 1 driver—dodging rogue tee shots, slow-playing foursomes, and the occasional peacock crossing.
- Possess strong social skills, particularly in laughing at bad golf jokes while secretly judging someone’s beverage selection (yes, we see you, Michelob Ultra guy).
- Have impeccable time management, meaning they know exactly when to be nearby for a round of celebratory drinks and when to vanish before a meltdown over a double bogey.
- Are comfortable enforcing The Willow Dunes Beverage Commandments, including “No Beer Before the 5th Hole” and “If You Must Order a Seltzer, Do It Discreetly.”
Perks of the Position
- Unparalleled Networking Opportunities – Where else can you overhear million-dollar deals, regrettable wagers, and deeply flawed swing advice—all in one shift?
- Competitive Pay & Tips – Especially if you pretend to care deeply about someone’s back nine struggles.
- Exclusive Access to the Course – You may not play here, but you’ll certainly know the trouble spots better than some of our members.
- A Job Title That Demands Respect – Because let’s be honest, beverage cart drivers hold more power than the club president in the summer heat.
Interested? Apply Today.
Do you have the poise, charm, and patience to deliver exquisite refreshment service to Willow Dunes’ most privileged golfers? If so, we invite you to apply for this coveted seasonal position.
Serious inquiries only—this isn’t just any beverage cart gig. It’s Willow Dunes.
Stop by The Prestige Outfitters and ask for Isabella Vaughn. If she gives you the look, consider it an interview.
The Club Chronicle
The Future Is Unstoppable
Saturday night’s Willow Dunes wedding reception was a picture-perfect affair—elegant décor, exquisite cuisine, and an open bar that encouraged just a bit too much celebration. Unfortunately, the evening came to an abrupt and disastrous end when one particularly festive guest decided that golf carts make excellent getaway vehicles. They do not. At approximately 11:42 p.m., an unnamed, extremely well-lubricated wedding guest commandeered a club cart from behind The Gilded Fork , declaring "I'm fine, I golf all the time!" before peeling off into the night. Their joyride ended 45 seconds later when they wrapped the cart around a tree near the 9th fairway. And now, Clive Wadsworth is furious . The Scene of the Crime By the time security arrived, the guest had already vanished, leaving behind: A totaled golf cart, missing a front wheel and partially embedded in bark. A spilled cocktail, suspiciously untouched. One loafer, later recovered by maintenance staff. Director of Security Isabella Vaughn cordoned off the area with police tape, which only fueled the drama. By sunrise, golfers were gathered at the scene, whispering theories as if it were a crime from an episode of Dateline. And then… Clive arrived. Clive Loses His Mind For a man who avoids manual labor at all costs, Clive reacts very passionately when club property is destroyed. "This… this is an OUTRAGE!" he bellowed, inspecting the wreckage as if it were a crime against humanity. Never mind that: Clive hasn’t personally driven a golf cart in three years. There are at least 30 other working carts. Nobody is asking Clive to fix anything. This was now a personal crusade. The Investigation Begins Clive immediately launched his own investigation, which involved: Pacing around the wreckage while shaking his head. Dramatically taking notes on a clipboard. Asking everyone nearby, "Do we have security footage on this?" When Isabella Vaughn informed him that security had already reviewed the footage and handed the matter off to the wedding party, Clive was not satisfied. "Doesn’t matter. I’ll get to the bottom of it," he muttered, writing nothing of importance on his clipboard. The Fallout The cart? Already towed away. The tree? Mostly fine. The wedding guest? Mysteriously quiet. Clive? Still outraged. By Monday morning, he was still telling anyone who would listen about how “back in my day, people respected golf carts.” Meanwhile, a brand-new cart arrived from the manufacturer, completely resolving the issue. Clive is still taking notes.
