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A Mysterious Golfer Shoots the Course Record

February 26, 2025

But Nobody Saw It

It started as a whisper in The Velvet Taproom. By dinner, it was a full-blown controversy.

A member—who shall remain unnamed, though everyone knows exactly who it is—claims to have shattered the Willow Dunes course record. A smooth 61, taking down the long-standing 63 set by a former club champion back when golf was “played properly”.

If true, it would be a historic achievement. A career round. A feat worthy of an engraved plaque in the clubhouse.

There’s just one problem. Nobody saw it.


The Story

The claim surfaced late Sunday afternoon. Our supposed record-breaker emerged from the locker room, eerily calm for a man who just made history. He mentioned it casually, as if it were no big deal—just another day, just another record-shattering performance.

According to him, it was a round for the ages:

  • Flawless ball-striking.
  • Deadeye putting.
  • Fairways hit with precision rarely seen outside the professional ranks.

One by one, members gathered around, half-impressed, half-skeptical. Then came the inevitable question:

“Who was in your group?”

This is where things got murky.

His only witness? His longtime golf buddy. A man known for blind loyalty, selective memory, and a tendency to embellish “just a little.”

And, of course, he forgot his phone.


The Lack of Evidence

No playing partners. No digital score tracking. No pictures. No videos. Not even a caddie to confirm.

Just a lone scorecard, handwritten in what some have described as suspiciously neat handwriting for someone keeping track of a legendary round.

Naturally, the club’s most skeptical members had questions:

  • Where is the signed attestation from another member?
  • Why was there no gallery of members mysteriously drawn to greatness?
  • If the round was that good, wouldn’t you have texted someone mid-way through?

The answers were vague. The details seemed to shift slightly depending on who asked.


Club Reaction

Within hours, the Course Records Committee (which, until now, hadn’t been activated in a decade) convened an emergency meeting.

Chip Wexley was the first to object. “Nobody shoots 61 from the back tees at Willow Dunes. Not unless they bribed me to soften the greens.”

Eleanor Van Pelt, ever the gatekeeper, insisted that “if a record is set and nobody witnessed it, it did not happen.”

Meanwhile, some members fully believe the story, insisting that miracles happen and that not all heroes need validation.


What Happens Next?

For now, the record remains unofficial. The alleged scorecard sits in administrative limbo, awaiting further scrutiny.

But one thing is certain—until proven otherwise, the old course record still stands.

And next weekend, there will be a lot of “innocent” bets placed on whether or not our mystery golfer can do it again.

The Club Chronicle

A willow dunes country club album cover with a golf cart in the background
March 11, 2025
Saturday night’s Willow Dunes wedding reception was a picture-perfect affair—elegant décor, exquisite cuisine, and an open bar that encouraged just a bit too much celebration. Unfortunately, the evening came to an abrupt and disastrous end when one particularly festive guest decided that golf carts make excellent getaway vehicles. They do not. At approximately 11:42 p.m., an unnamed, extremely well-lubricated wedding guest commandeered a club cart from behind The Gilded Fork , declaring "I'm fine, I golf all the time!" before peeling off into the night. Their joyride ended 45 seconds later when they wrapped the cart around a tree near the 9th fairway. And now, Clive Wadsworth is furious . The Scene of the Crime By the time security arrived, the guest had already vanished, leaving behind: A totaled golf cart, missing a front wheel and partially embedded in bark. A spilled cocktail, suspiciously untouched. One loafer, later recovered by maintenance staff. Director of Security Isabella Vaughn cordoned off the area with police tape, which only fueled the drama. By sunrise, golfers were gathered at the scene, whispering theories as if it were a crime from an episode of Dateline. And then… Clive arrived. Clive Loses His Mind For a man who avoids manual labor at all costs, Clive reacts very passionately when club property is destroyed. "This… this is an OUTRAGE!" he bellowed, inspecting the wreckage as if it were a crime against humanity. Never mind that: Clive hasn’t personally driven a golf cart in three years. There are at least 30 other working carts. Nobody is asking Clive to fix anything. This was now a personal crusade. The Investigation Begins Clive immediately launched his own investigation, which involved: Pacing around the wreckage while shaking his head. Dramatically taking notes on a clipboard. Asking everyone nearby, "Do we have security footage on this?" When Isabella Vaughn informed him that security had already reviewed the footage and handed the matter off to the wedding party, Clive was not satisfied. "Doesn’t matter. I’ll get to the bottom of it," he muttered, writing nothing of importance on his clipboard. The Fallout The cart? Already towed away. The tree? Mostly fine. The wedding guest? Mysteriously quiet. Clive? Still outraged. By Monday morning, he was still telling anyone who would listen about how “back in my day, people respected golf carts.” Meanwhile, a brand-new cart arrived from the manufacturer, completely resolving the issue. Clive is still taking notes.
A golf cart is parked next to a help wanted sign for a Golf Course Superintendent.
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