The Great Magnolia Meltdown on 12
Masters Week Buzzes with Regret
What began as a gesture of botanical brilliance has now become a buzzing, stinging nightmare at Willow Dunes Country Club.
Roughly eleven months ago, a spirited group of members—led by none other than Chadwick Remington IV and a handful of Augusta-obsessed followers—petitioned for the installation of Magnolia trees along Hole 12 to give the course a “touch of Southern class.”
Their pitch?
“It’ll be like Augusta—but with better members and less humidity.”
Against his better judgment (and perhaps as a way to quiet the noise), Chip Wexley, then still Golf Course Superintendent & Overseer of Perfection, approved the project and perfectly timed the installation so the trees would bloom beautifully in sync with Masters Week.
And bloom they have.
Unfortunately… so have the bees.
A Floral Frenzy Turns Into an Aerial Assault
By Tuesday morning, Hole 12 was a fragrant corridor of blossoming Magnolias—stunning, serene, and swarming.
“I was mid-backswing and heard humming,” said Member Alan Forsythe. “I thought it was my tinnitus acting up. It was not.”
Several players have reportedly abandoned their rounds mid-hole, citing “insect aggression,” “sleeve infiltration,” and one alleged incident of bee-induced shanking.
A handful of members have taken to playing the hole in bee suits, purchased from the pro shop’s newly improvised “Bee Prepared” display.
One anonymous complaint reads:
“We asked for Augusta. We got a hornet dojo.”
Chip Wexley’s Response? Silence.
When approached for comment, Chip simply adjusted his cap, took a long drag of his cigar, and walked away without a word—though several witnesses heard him mutter something about “never pleasing pollinator-hating people.”
Meanwhile, Victoria Langley is reportedly using the bees as a metaphor for a guided mindfulness series titled: “Finding Inner Stillness While Being Swarmed.”
The Takeaway?
Be careful what you ask for at Willow Dunes.
Especially if what you ask for has petals and a pollen count.
The Magnolia trees are here to stay.
So are the bees.
And so is the drama.
The Club Chronicle
