Superintendent Chip Wexley Implements a ‘No Excuses’ Policy for Bunker Play
A Radical New Approach That Nobody Asked For
Golf is a game of skill. A game of precision. A game of… avoiding bunkers at all costs.
But for years, members of Willow Dunes Country Club have failed spectacularly at the latter. And for years, those same members have blamed the bunkers for their poor play.
“The sand’s too soft.”
“The sand’s too firm.”
“There’s a footprint.”
“This should be a free drop.”
Chip Wexley has heard every single excuse. And last week, he finally had enough.
His solution? Eliminate rakes entirely.
The ‘No Excuses’ Bunker Initiative
Chip’s stance is simple: Golfers shouldn’t need perfect conditions to escape a bunker.
“The pros don’t whine when they find a bad lie,” he said while lighting a cigar and taking a confident puff. “They deal with it. It’s time Willow Dunes members do the same.”
And so, in an unannounced overnight operation, all rakes were removed from the course. Gone. Erased from existence.
Chip left only a handwritten note on the first tee:
“Welcome to real golf. Adapt!”
The Immediate Fallout
By mid-morning, chaos had set in.
- Members wandered helplessly from bunker to bunker, poking at the sand like archaeologists on a dig.
- The practice bunker became a crisis center, where members attempted escape drills under extreme distress.
- Eleanor Van Pelt petitioned to classify bunkers as “unplayable hazards” until rakes were restored.
And, of course, Lord Worthington approved of the decision.
“About time,” he grumbled between sips of espresso. “Bunkers should be feared, not coddled.”
The Member Rebellion
By the second day, things got personal.
- Multiple protest letters were submitted to club leadership, citing “inhumane playing conditions.”
- One member allegedly carried his own personal bunker rake, hiding it like a contraband flask.
- A coalition formed to retrieve rakes from storage—though they were never found. (Chip later confirmed they had been “disposed of accordingly.”)
In an emergency strategy meeting, a frustrated member demanded, “Chip, how do you expect us to play out of a footprint?”
Chip took a deep breath. He exhaled a slow cloud of cigar smoke. “Don’t hit it in the bunker,” he said.
Where We Stand Now
As of today, the rakes are still gone. The bunkers remain lawless terrain, a true test of character.
Some members have embraced the challenge. Others have begun avoiding the course entirely.
One thing is certain: there will be no excuses.
But there will be many, many complaints.
The Club Chronicle
